My plan for today was to drive my husband to his father’s house, and return home to rake out some of my gardens. However, the morning was chill and bleak, and by the time I was driving home, raindrops were gathering on the windshield. Somehow, I just couldn’t face the physical work of the garden.
The past few months have been filled with busyness — holiday plans, my daughter’s wedding, her baby shower, frequent meetings for committees to which I belong, the chaos of household renovations, time with my grandchildren, the worries typical of a mother watching her own “baby” carrying twins, watching out for a husband with disabilities…the list goes on and on. As I drove home through the raindrops, I decided my goal for the afternoon was one of peaceful solitude. I ate a light lunch, sitting in my favorite chair, reading a book as I ate, with a lovely pot of Easter tulips nearby.
The house is quiet, barely a sound reaching through its thick, old walls. I am a person blessed with a happy spirit, but sometimes the worries and stresses of life are too much with me, and I need time alone — time with no TV blaring, no voices, no questions — nothing but silence. Some people don’t like to be alone with their thoughts, but I often crave solitude. When the world gets harried and the people around me need attention and help, I am there in the fray, giving pieces of my heart to whomever needs it at the moment. My life is full of friends and family that I love and many important commitments. But, sometimes I reach a breaking point, and I must slow down a bit to regain my sanity.
Since my husband is a TV lover, I often stay up very late at night (the wee hours, I call them), after he has turned off the TV and gone to bed. Then, the house is quiet, and I can read and write and think in peace. I look forward to these hours each day. Today, however, I am so thrilled to have these daylight hours to myself — to recharge a bit, perhaps to read or pray or just sit and ponder. In an hour or so, I will once again head out in the car to stop for some groceries and to pick up my husband, but I will feel stronger and more at peace with all that lies ahead, because of this precious gift I have had today — a bit of time for myself!!